


there's nothing much to say

by kwoncity



Series: our love is made of stardust & the faint glowing of the moon [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, best friends soonwoo, i love writing "___ is made of _____" paragraphs so here you are, i was in a particular angsty state when i wrote this so aaa! i love angst, jihoon has regrets, soonyoung is just tired, wonwoo is always there for soonyoungs problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 02:50:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17153900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwoncity/pseuds/kwoncity
Summary: love is a two-way street, and they learn it the hard way. soonyoung is just tired, and maybe, just maybe, it's not meant to be.





	there's nothing much to say

**Author's Note:**

> —alright, some notes before we begin, i wrote this fic awhile back & i want to say that in my state of rush & all that haziness (also for the sake of the storyline,) the jihoon that i portray here is takes on a very magnified grumpy character. in no way do i believe that the real lee jihoon acts like this. anways, please enjoy. welcome to: 12 days of ficmas 2018! (drags on to 2019)

  
"Jihoon-ah," Soonyoung called out from the door frame of Jihoon's studio.

"What is it? I'm busy." He snapped.

"I know you are, you always are. So busy you can't even make time for your own boyfriend." The tone was teasing, but there was a layer of hurt coating his words. "We need to talk... or rather, I need to say something to you. It won't take long."

"Soonyoung, I told you I'm busy. Stop-"

"Let's break up."

"What?"

"Let's break up," Soonyoung repeated, "God knows you weren't going to let me talk, so I didn't wait for you to stop. You're not the only busy one, I have things to do too."

With that, Soonyoung left the room and Jihoon sat dumbfoundedly in front of his desktop, headphones slipping off.

===

"Why did you do that? You know you love him."

Now, Soonyoung and Wonwoo were sitting by the company's rooftop garden. Soonyoung was recounting the events, and Wonwoo was listening intently to his best friend.

"I do, Wonwoo, I really do. But love is a two-way street."

"He loves you back, you know that right?"

"He says he does but does he really? I'm tired, Won, I'm tired. I'm tired of being the only one that puts in all the effort, I'm tired of being pushed away. It's like I'm pouring in all my feelings and he's just pushing it away. I'm tired of being shouted at, I'm tired of calling us 'boyfriends' when he doesn't even act like we're together. Everyone has a limit, and I've exceeded mine."

"Have you ever considered that maybe it's difficult for him to show his feelings?"

"I have, but it's too much. I'm not even asking for a lot, all I want is to not be pushed away. And if it's too difficult for him to do that, then maybe I'm not the one meant for him."

And Wonwoo can only nod silently, for Soonyoung is right.

===

That night, after everyone had returned to the dorms, Jihoon dragged his feet to Soonyoung's room. Knock knock.

Soonyoung answers with a bored look on his face, "What do want?"

Jihoon flinches, for Soonyoung's tone is harsh and never in a million year would he have been able to prepare himself for that. Ever since their trainee days, the tone Soonyoung used with him was always loving, gentle, caring. And Jihoon hears it in his tone, the voice of someone who is tired, of someone who has loved so much he fears he'll never be able to love again. His heart shatters to pieces because the light in Soonyoung's eyes was gone, the fire that burned within had now been put out, and Jihoon is the only one to blame.

It hurts him, the day before, they were alright. It was 'Soonyoung & Jihoon' before, but now it is just 'Soonyoung' and 'Jihoon'. Soonyoung had always come crawling back to Jihoon, no matter how cold Jihoon was. But this time, the roles were reversed. Oh, the turntables.

"I wanted to talk to you."

A lifeless chuckle escaped Soonyoung's lips, "so now you want to talk? After pushing me away for so long, you come knocking on my door at 10PM, wanting to talk?" His voice dropped to a barely audible whisper, "I don't think there's anything to say."

He knows, he knows. He knows he's been selfish, he knows he's been pushing Soonyoung away, he knows he's been hurting the latter.

So, why? Just why did he do that?

The answer is: he was scared. He was afraid of breaking his own heart, he was afraid of getting hurt. But Soonyoung got hurt instead, Soonyoung's heart broke, Soonyoung decided that he's had enough. Now Soonyoung's not his anymore, and Soonyoung's not the only one that's hurt.

But Soonyoung was made of stardust and fireworks and rays of sunshine, all he did was make Jihoon's life better. He came in with his small eyes and a huge smile and Jihoon fell, he fell hard. Soonyoung was Jihoon's first crush, and Jihoon's watched enough movies to know, the boy you give your heart to would only turn around and tear it to pieces. So Jihoon builds up his walls, strengthens them, and doesn't give his heart a chance to love. But Soonyoung didn't tear up hearts, instead, Jihoon did.

Breaking someone else's heart to protect yourself is selfish, and Jihoon knows better than to use it as an excuse (especially when he's trying to show Soonyoung that he really does love him). Jihoon knows, he should not be finding an excuse, because he hurt Soonyoung, and he should be nothing but sorry. So he doesn't, he doesn't find an excuse and he just says, "There's something I need to say, and there's something you need to hear."

Soonyoung sighs, "there is nothing to say. Goodnight." The door closes, leaving Jihoon standing there, staring at where Soonyoung was previously.

"But there is, there's a lot to say." But Soonyoung doesn't hear that last bit, and neither does he ever hear what Jihoon has to say.

 

**Author's Note:**

> hii thanks for reading! just wanted to say that i doubt 12 days of ficmas is very popular & i kind of thought of this myself ?? but anyways, i'm doing this because inktober, 30 fics, and ficmas, 25 fics, is way too much of a feat for a being like me. & thus, 12 days of ficmas!


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